| return'n soon...... |
[09 Apr 2004|04:39pm] |
wordz r mean'n less when it cumz from an EX who actz like she dun care......
I'LL BE BACK REAL SOON. UPDATE WILL BE WORTH IT, EH
STAY TUNED......
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| NEW RULE..... |
[28 Jan 2004|05:14pm] |
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mood |
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 mischievous |
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music |
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LUV ME BABY... |
] |
i decided um gunna make this my LAST PUBLIC ENTRY. bout the only peepz LJz i will read r tha onez dat COMMENT on mine. i will prolly keep sum of U on ma friendz list juz fo tha FUQ of it. I will NOT comment on those who DUN comment on mine. juz wanted to make dat clear.
ma boss wuz being a BIOTCH today. i had an ova load of work to do. n i didn't get ANY help wut so eva. eh, erase dat. i DID get help fo bout 2 hrz, of ma 9-10 hr shift. phew.
I cut ma finga today at work. sliced it, haha i went to the front to get a band-aid n i got it kiss'd by a female associate, OooO shyt :P. dayumz i needa massage. OooO, tha side of ma back iz killin me.
ma friend has a JUICY ASS pic of ANGELINA JOLIE on her LJ. dat woman iz FINE. n i am talk n bout ANGELINA. i can BUST a nutt juz look n at her. HAHA, juz play n. but ye, tha poster i have of her duz help out a bit :P . *wipez ma drool*
aight well daz it fo today.....thankz to all U peepz who commented on ma last entry. MUCH LOVE.
Eh.....
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| U really dun realize wha U have till it IZ gone.... |
[16 Jan 2004|10:35pm] |
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mood |
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 crushed |
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music |
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INCOMPLETE... |
] |
i hate all diz shyt. um on the verge of say n fuq it. um nah feel n sawe fo maself, n i certainly dun want ANYONE to feel bad fo me. i seriously can't take it. um fight n wit maself. been doin it fo awhile. i juz dun know how to stop... how to let go. i sit here in agony an pain. HEARTACHE. um stress n sumthin i dun usually do. but i can't stop.
today as U can tell, I DID NAH GO OUT. i am here at the one place where i hope i can have time to maself. hope n EVERYTHIN will go away. i need to close a chapter of my life, but i can't. i heard the most terrible yet happy newz today. well, i've known it fo awhile but nah till today did it hit me. an BOY did it hit me HARD. ever get dat feel n when U juz wanna vomit, cuz U lost SUMONE dat U hold dear to yo heart? U sit by yo lonesome... memoriez cum about and daz all it takez. ONE memory of a certain place doin a certain thang. iz like be n push'd off a cliff, fall n in a slow motion, everythin cumz back it all flash'z befo U. fo sum reason U look back to see who did the shove and daz when U cum to find out... U push'd yoself off dat cliff.
ma heart iz bleed n n i can feel every lil ounce of drop. i can feel the tearz form n to ma eyez. who can ease diz pain, fix it all. WHO can stop the feen n...the pressure...the thoughtz of go n back to the thingz i had once give n up.
here i am wit ma head to the floor,surround'd by blood, my heart show n NO feel n of happiness, the tearz continue to fall. SHOW ME HOW TO LET GO, MOVE ON... LIVE THE LIFE OF A SMILE. if U only knew how I feel ri nowz.
THE LITTLEST THING IN LIFE IZ WHA I NEED.....
the littlest thing in life IZ WHA I DON'T HAVE....
i dun know wha tomorrow bringz. as far as um concern'd iz already the end.......
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| NO rulez |
[28 Dec 2003|06:39pm] |
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mood |
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 loved |
] |
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music |
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no more... |
] |
I HAVE A GOOD GIRL IN MA LIFE, A LIL DIRTY BUT GOOD :o DIRTY IN A GOOD WAY DAT IZ CONGRADULATE ME OR DON'T BUT UM HAPPY....... R U?
2 BE CONTINUED...........
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| yo Opinion.... |
[22 Dec 2003|09:52pm] |
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mood |
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crushed |
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music |
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MAKE U MINE...mr sancho |
] |
my weekend wuz hectic but daz nut n new. i am delete n sum friendz from here n add n new onez as time go'z by. um sawe if i haven't comment'd on sum of YO journalz but i will soon, take dat. but all diz isn't why um update n. I need sum ADVICE from U femalez out there. HERE'z tha story......
in one of my otha updatez i replied to a certain female wit "juz sum girl i know" well my "girlfriend" read it and took it to the left titty wit a pinch. an now she throwz it in ma face ALL the time. i ain't feelin diz at all. tonite we spoke on the phone i wasn't talk n :| i guess she got a lil upset or sumthin. i dun know. she dun tell me thingz like dat. but yea, back to the story... she wuz talk n to sum foo where she iz while on the phone wit me n i tol her "ey, umma call U sum otha time" she said "no" den i tol her i wuz gunna call her later she didn't want dat eitha. my call n card wuz bout to run out but she didn't give me a chance to tell her dat. before she hung up on me she tol everyONE round her "Oh, itz juz sum guy i know" :O an she made it clear fo me to hear dat.
wowza, dat hurt. i mean i know i said it first but it wasn't wordz cum n out ma mouth it wuz on HERE. n i only "said" it once. on the other hand she SAID it multiple timez. NOW um nah try n ta make HER sound like a bad person cuz she'z nah. i juz need a lil feedback on diz. iz it wrong fo me to feel like shyt said after wha she tol everyone around her bout me being "juz sumone she knowz"? i mean maybe i do deserve it. will she continue to hold it against me?
FEMALEz i needa know wutz up. wha can i do if anythin? i'll be wait n fo sum kind of comment, sum kind of feedback. plz let me know.
HOLLA.....
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| ERRRR, YE..... |
[18 Dec 2003|09:26pm] |
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mood |
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 contemplative |
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music |
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EASIER TO RUN... |
] |
ok um update n again :O second in a day WOWzA. miracle or wha? ye well since um nah gunna update tomorrow i thought i would do it now since i sorta got the time n ummm... i already know wha to say. SUMONE tol me dat ma entry befo diz didn't make sense :| i think daz y i put EH but ye um already feel n SAD fo bout 2 weekz um gunna feel a lil lonely. hmm... anyone wanna gimme dey numba :D hehe juz play n. i won't be talk n ta HER cuz she goin' away. I DUN KNOW WHA TO DO. she be leave n in 2 dayz from ri now, umm... i mean SATURDAY morn n. well umma miss her. maybe a lil too much :( :|
aight well if i know sum of U really well UR gunna clown on me fo nah learn n ma lesson, but go ahead. it dun matta to me all dat mattaz iz dat I know wha ma heart iz feel n an iz REAL.
i guess um dun now. i'll update when ma KRAZY weekend iz ova so stay tuned.......
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| eh... |
[18 Dec 2003|06:51pm] |
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mood |
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 full |
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music |
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MY BABY |
] |
itz been 721 dayz so far. i've decided to make ma journal, at timez, public because i want certain peepz to see dat dey didn't ruin wha i had n still have.
up n downz cum n go but the onez dat dun give up know therez sumthin or sumone worth it all. been there dun dat n still in dat spot. i have been wit sumone, nah literally, fo those many dayz up above. can U tell um nah single :P ? sumtimez i wonder if i am :O
ok,well i had a BUZY day at work, wha else is new ri? wit X-maz round i can't seem to take a break. ye work :| therez gunna have lil party at work on X-MAS EVE. :D hehe, VERY GOOD.
hmmm... diz weekend, PARTY n, OUTTA TOWN n ummm.... tiz all.
UM DUN
questionz?.....
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| ....... |
[17 Dec 2003|06:17pm] |
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mood |
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 excited |
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music |
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wanna be close... |
] |
today iz THE DAY. the BIGGEST day eva. an i am VERY happy.
hope U didn't foget :|.
itz been real...
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| CUM n SOON... |
[31 Aug 2003|07:09pm] |
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mood |
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 hyper |
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music |
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SUNNY DAYz... |
] |
itz almost here...
the day of my return...
new changez...
new me?...
the FRIENDz CUT list...
EVERYTHIN HAS CHANGED...
ANY....DAY....NOW.......
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| can i get enuff.....? |
[12 Aug 2003|07:54pm] |
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mood |
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horny |
] |
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music |
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STEPPIN OUT...... |
] |
as sum of U may know... umma take a trip to NEW YORK ma vacation time iz couple weekz away, i hope. n i decided to go wit ma cuz to the EAST COAST. shez got an ex who moved ova there he said we can lounge at hiz pad when eva we want we can even move in. i thought he wuz joke n but hez got a tyte pad n livez alone. one of ma homegirlz has a life ova there in NY too. so i won't feel so lonely when i getz there. umma see if i can get a transfer from ma work place dat iz if I plan to stay there.
guess peepz r goin dey separate wayz....remindz me of the last year in H.S. everythin changez n everyone. the friendz U thought U had become a mere cloud of smoke. daz tha shytz....U can have SO many, but ur still alone. daz y i say FUQ it ALL
i've been have n a yearn n fo IT n um nah sure how long I can last. FUCK ME..... can i survive?
comment if U care, comment if U don't but wha evaz U do, don't wait....
STEP N DOWN
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| any last words |
[29 Jun 2003|01:23pm] |
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mood |
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 peaceful |
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music |
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GETTIN IT...chingy |
] |
i had a very interesting conversation with STINKY this past week. well it wuz on thurs. we spent most of the nite conversate n. ye ri. I think that nite wuz the "11th" nite. it wuz MAD. can't wait to have another one of those. jus to fill peepZ in, STINKY is ma MELI. the sweetness of HER body next to mine, just ummm.... ahhhh, does it. she sorta made me update cuz she had to make me sum lunch. so ye.
this weekend was aight. work'd saturday n den went out wit sum peepZ. spent a lil time wit "her". watched a movie, did a lil business trip an ummm... after all dat did ma thing wit STINKY. Kaylaz b'day is cum n up soon. haven't had time to get her a present yet. i still need ta go to tha bank n get sum money. maybe i'll give her a lil call in a few dayz n see wuz bout it wit her. wish she would cum online more often, but i undastand how buzy she is wit her job an all.
i know sum of U will be mad to hear that i have been talk n to certain females from my past, but OooO'z well. I have now affiliated wit LIZ again, she's do n her thang (her bully/playah thang). can't go wrong wit dat. U can get wha U want eitha way. also been talkin to APRIL. yup WE talk now. ain't it great? but she still a lil caved up. iz all good tho. haven't heard from Jennifa since that ONE nite. i wonda how her sistaz "dress code" thing went. hmmm....she prolly still sleep n. LazyASS.
posts r cum n in anonymous...OooO i love it, but its sad cuz its gunna be friends only. too bad for U.
one mo thing..... next weekend iz off. i can't do it. i won't do it. cuz its not worth it. get the point?
ma lunch is done gotta eat n den tonight wait fo desert.
OUTZzz..
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| a lil sum n |
[18 Jun 2003|09:27pm] |
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mood |
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tired |
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music |
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GIRLz, GIRLz, GIRLz...snoop |
] |
sadness continues to constantly hang over onez head, no names included. life pretty much simple if you make it so.
i'm tired as fuq. work has taken ova my time and space. had to literally bring sum shyt from work home just to be ready for tomorrow. the weekend is almost near and i want to make it last cuz the time has cum again where um gunna be spending it with her. i don't know if i want to continue this, but in order for me to get where i'm going i have to try to make it all seem normal. hard work leads to great pleasure.
spoke to one of my lost friendz.....seemz like she hasn't changed. jennifa call'd me a loser but end'd up lose n herself. "someone" is piss'd off at me, i didn't do shyt. OooO ye, MELI n i are doing good. great times together jus me and her. no interuptionz....but i think shez going crazy. she hears FAR too many thingz. i think she wuz in the "nut" house way too long. shez still mean to me. i swear she'd give ANYTHING for me to be sick. how sad :P.
i don't comment on peepz journalz and maybe i should start....i jus wanna give a couple of hollaz. one to LIL SHAWTY an LIL HONEY. thankz U 2. U make me feel loved, hehe.
2 U.... I don’t know why you’re so far away
But I know that this much is true
We’ll make it through
And I hope you are the one I share my life with
And I wish that you could be the one I die with
And I pray in you’re the one I build my home with
I hope I love you all my life
ALWAYz.....
UP n OUTZzz...
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| happy now? |
[15 Jun 2003|05:32pm] |
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mood |
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] |
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music |
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I NEEDA FREAK |
] |
i dun know who dat anonymous poster wuz dat update my journal but dat shyt wuz scary. as for those of U who even comment on my journal much love ta U. an as for those who don't. i dun care. umm... nut n to say. my "girlfriend" is being mean to me, like always. any female wanna rub ma head? jennifa? ya know ya know. heh, heh, heh. iz our lil secret. ok um dun. um goin back to pm'z wit ma dawg, KAYLA. hi dere K-dawg long time no talk. phone-convo tonite? let me know. a lil hot n heavy :P .
comment or not.....fuq it all.
OUTZzz...
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| SOMEONE NEEDS TO UPDATE! |
[14 Jun 2003|07:29pm] |
Bout time something is written in here huh? Well for all who don't know me.. I'am the girlfriend :) yeah umm last time I checked, isn't a journal supposed to be updated often? heh...Well Ricky works a lot, and he's very "busy," so umm I guess we all gotta forgive him for not updating for a few centuries :)
So yeah....EVERYONE bug him and tell him how much you miss him updating his journal, just like consantly comment in here, we need him back..... :)
OKAY GO...START COMMENTING... even if you don't really miss him..just make him think you do..lolz :D..
BYE!
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| FrIeNdz OnLy?? |
[27 May 2003|08:42pm] |
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mood |
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 restless |
] |
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music |
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RIGHT THURR...chingy |
] |
past few nites i've been havin sum nutty dreamz. i don't know what dey mean, but honestly i would love to know. the days have been going by so slowly cept when i'm at work. i don't got much to say. life'z still around. unlike sum people. i dun know what to do anymore. um confused, um tired i'm everythin but sane. been partyin' every weekend. ya know a lil of diz n a lil of dat. its like everytime i open this journal thing my mind go'z blank. lately i've been corruptin my mind with sinful thoughts. hmm...actually not that bad. FUQ i got nut n to talk about. think i'll end it here.
to YOU.... i ain't down wit emails or shyt like that you should already know. i dun got anythin to say to U. i think U already made the decision for me. things have changed, not sure for the best. i have SO much hatred right now, but that'll pass right. give or take a minute or so. i dun even know if thereZ an US anymore. i've had about a week or 2 to think it all over. even tho "POP" said ....GIVE HER A MONTH, i believe i've dun my part. the 24th passed ya know. ye wow wha a big day. i neva got any of those text messagez, figures. been checkin the phone, no voices at all. even the voice messages r gone. got nut n to look back on. its a shame, cuz everytime i wuz wit HER, all i could think about iz U. now i dun know wha to think. hope ur doin ok tho. keepin yo head up an all that good shyt. ye well the timez up. take care of yoself.
I THINK UMMA MAKE THIS A FRIENDZ ONLY THING. SO IF U WANNA BE DOWN, HIT IT UP. IF NAH I AIN'T TRIP N ONE LOSS AINT NUT N COMPARED TO 2.
ANY QUESTIONz?
OUTZzz..
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| help... |
[19 May 2003|12:38pm] |
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mood |
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 confused |
] |
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music |
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sum old skoo |
] |
aight i got one question to all u who read my journal thingy here. why da hell dun it let me reply with any faces??? it says sumin about no HTML allowed in subject. geez um lost with all diz. help someone plz!!! :P
TO U, i got yo letter. i dun know what to say. if U only knew. we needa talk soon. things jus ain't the same no more. i hope ur doin good.
UP n OUTZzz...</bold>
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| i'm still here |
[15 May 2003|08:04pm] |
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mood |
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guilty |
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music |
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GANGSTER LOVIN'..mr capone e |
] |
i thought i would update since i haven't in awhile and looky here its english. maybe now some peepz (no namez) will comment in this journal of mine.
nothin new like always, my b'day was sweet. no complaints. some of my homies threw me a party. mad heads there, a fight broke out but it was no biggie. over all it was all good. a certain someOne left me an offline message tellin' me how she didn't forget about my b'day. that was nice of her considerin' we haven't spoken to one another in hot sec. jus want U to know i still think about you. hope you're doin good.
as for work...its still there. got myself a new associate. she knows the realness of this n that. got paid....same ol same ol.
i got too much on my mind right now. somethin' is eatin me up inside. i feel really bad cuz i can't be there for you. i don't even know what you're going thru or if you're ok. i got some madd lovin for U girl, MADD. i can't get you outta my head, day in day out i have the connection right next to me hopin one way or another you leave a message or somethin' jus to let me know you're doing fine. the days i don't hear from U i go even more krazy. I MISS YOU. the nite time talks, the lil arguments (every time U want to be right, but U end up wrong), the way U tell me "no" but go back on yo word, EVERYTHIN. even miss that smile of urs and yo lips when i kiss them. most part of all....i miss yo whisperz of I LOVE YOU. hope you're doing better babygirl. i'm here waitin for U. i'll be here always, dun eva forget that......
well that ends it all. hope allz good for everyone else. take care everyone.
UP n OUTZzz.....
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| LAME n IT |
[30 Apr 2003|07:34pm] |
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mood |
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 scared |
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music |
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CHANGEZ...tupac |
] |
i dun know wutz goin on wit me anymo. couple days ago thingz made a turn. can't say fo the worst or the best, but thingz flip'd. I catch maself doin thingz i haven't dun in a grip of time...get n numbaz, look n dey way as dey walk away. ya know dat sort of shyt. um scared dat mo of diz iz gunna cum out. hate these stOOOOOpid fuq n outcumz. geez i can't deal wit any of diz nah no mo.
i've been all hella buzy. there are timez when i try nah ta be but thingz cum up. more den usual, iz quit annoyin. i got ma check today..... wanted it on friday :|, but didn't argue. who would. came out pretty substantial, didnt' think i would make so much in jus one week, OooO wellz.
MAY iz round the corna an so iz ma b'day, OooO great. umma go outta town, take a lil road trip or sumthin. i dun think i wanna stay here fo very long. one of ma old homegirlz, hazel (beautiful from top to bottom) iz gunna cum down diz weekend. iz gunna be hella weird wit her around again. but i'll cope. iz CINCO DE MAYO diz weekend...PARTY TIME!! n guess who made up :P.
daz it fo today....prolly update diz weekend i dun know it all dependz on the time I got, much love to all.
Um OUTZzz...
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| UPDATE TIME... |
[29 Apr 2003|07:06pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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touched |
] |
| [ |
music |
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EMOTIONLESS...good charlotte |
] |
i've been talk n to sumone in particular who got me think n a grip about a certain bet that wuz placed :| . i don't really want to talk bout it here but U know who U be thatz give n me all diz great advice n shyt. I AM NOT GOING TO KRACK. cuz i guess sum thingz can cum out even when U dun expect it.
PAST 2 DAYz.. i've been doin ma thing. I guess i'm goin back to the person I used to be. slowly at least. good thing cuz sum of the bitch n has stop'd. had a couple of lunch datez...nah too bad. met sum new peepz GREAT company. END OF THAT.
i already got ma planz fo SATURDAY. Iz on huh JENNIFA :P .
i once had told U dat thingz fade wit time. but den SHE made sum n clear to me. If U didn't want it den U wouldn't have made it. OooO wellz....lets see where this will end up.
I lead a very interest n life huh? ye well um glad U all agree.... :| nut n mo to say. DANKz JENNIFA.
Up n OuTz...
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| DRUM ROLL PLZ |
[24 Apr 2003|07:32pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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 thirsty |
] |
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music |
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TAKE A CHANCE ON ME...mr capone-e |
] |
it looks like rain, no wonda um updatin. yes this iz fo the oneZ who r jumpin ma back bout update n ma shyt.
nut n new has been goin on, workin ma ass off. I seem to have been made a manager or sumthin. i wuz all by myself today, cept when Eli came to keep me company a bit, shez hella koo. geez um thirsty as hell. speakin of thirst.....this weekend therez gunna be a mad party up on the westside :|. therez also a lil carnival goin on. iz whack but there are mad femalez goin there on friday. femalez....
i got a phone call at 3 in the morn n :O. can U guess who it wuz? if u guessed meli den ur ri. she couldn't sleep, so she dialed ma numba. I tol her to go n rest her head an nah think bout anythin while her eyez r closed. if workz for me. guess she fell asleep cuz she didn't call me back. tonite is anotha nite tho. wonda if she'll wake me up again.
um talk n to jennifa in pmz ri now. she'z lyric n me a song. I have NO clue wha the hell it iz, but i figure iz one of her lame ass bandz shez phrase n about. i'll prolly be get n a comment from her in here. can't wait to see wha she sayz :|.
well i dun know wha else to say. gotta work in the morn n, nutha long day to look forward to. at least the weekend iz juz around the corner.
QUIZ QUESTION..... SHOULD I WRITE IN AN ENGLISH FORMAT OR SHOULD I CONTINUE TO TYPE HOW I SPEAK? COMMENTZ ON THIS por favor.
well i best be out. gotta enjoy the rain while it lasts.
HI ANGIE, JENNIFA, MELI N WHOEVA ELSE THERE IZ.
MAY THE RAIN SHINE ON THE DARKSIDE..
UP N OUTZzz...
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ricky_jr's journal